What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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