A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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Coldpaly is a good band

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

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A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

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A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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