Want to hear a Joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Coldpaly is a good band

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock Who the fuck says knock knock?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A. Do you know what they call Bing Crosby in Sweden? B. No. A. Bing Crosby.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You're momma is so dumb, she has troubles passing her math unit and should seriously consider a math touter

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Yo Momma so fat, that she need the atlantic to take a bath!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the difference between a pizza and a baby? Humans don't eat babies, other than a Cannibals because some tend to eat babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops