Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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why did CJ cry?he just ate a pie full of meat from his favorite animal.Pig

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing???? she had down syndrome

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The queen having a shit

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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What do you call a black police officer? The drug dealer's inside man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops