A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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alex is cool

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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A man walked into a house, He never came back out as he fell down the stairs and snapped his neck, His family mourn him everyday.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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