Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

Why can't jokes spit?

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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