Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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