whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist bastard..

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A man walks into a bar and see's a 12 inch pianoist. He walks to the bar tendar and asks "Where'd you get it" The bar tendar says we have a genie in the back. So the man walks back the and wishes for 12 million BUCKS , The genie gives him 12 million DUCKS, The man walks back out and said " I asked for 12 million BUCKS not 12 million DUCKS and the bar tendar says do you really think i asked for a 12 inch pianoist?

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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