What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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Your Mom

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops