You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was very scary.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

You know whats funny? Women's rights

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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