What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Who's There? Tourettes Kid. Touret- FUCK SHIT!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is red and smells like paint red paint

thumb_up thumb_down -11

look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops