SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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what do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a spaceship? a dinosaur spaceship

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the hospital because his wife has multiple STD's

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops