I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

knock knock who's there me i kill you

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

Q: What happened when Sophie broke her leg? A: She was taken to hospital where she was given a cast, and made a full recovery just in time for the Summer.

What stops a fully black english man from marrying a fully chinese women, the language barrier of course!

Do you know why this joke isn't funny. It's punchline is bad.

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

If Billy has 4 apples in his left hand and 6 apples in his right hand, what does he have? Very large hands.

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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