What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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why is andreas making a pizza? since he dosent get laid he likes the feeling of the sauce stinging on his dick

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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