Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you a badass who not a badass. Grant Lousbury.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

test test

thumb_up thumb_down -18

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two polar bears are sitting in a hot tub. One polar bear asks the other to pass the soap. The other responds, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops