Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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WILLYS

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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school homewrok

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This anti-joke below is hilarious.

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What did the girl call the boy? ugly. they hated eachother.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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