Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. the cat is then escorted out of the bar because a cat in a bar is unsanitary. and they do not serve milk.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops