Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Knock knock come in.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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