I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the second and says, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" The second muffin replies, "Holy crap a talking muffin!"

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing. I don't know. Why? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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What happened when the black man tried to cross the road Nothin. He tripped on a bug trying to get on the edge

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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