whats red round and gets smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potatoe peeler

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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25

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops