Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops