knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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There's 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and muscular guy. 7 days later, the fat guy receives an invitation to the zoo. It turns he got a new job and his friends was so proud.

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What did the Christian say to the Muslim? Our faiths are actually derived from the same Judeo base.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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so...um, yeah

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops