A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Yo moma so fat, it ain't even funny. Seriously. She is suffering real diabetes! Do you know how that feels? I though so...

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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