What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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hi charles lattuca III

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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