what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she had leprosy and had to have her legs and arms amputated

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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Whoever just posted that suicide shit is stupid, you can get arrested for that shit. I would delete it.

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This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Your mother just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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