Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? The Pilot was a tomato

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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