Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Girls Lacrosse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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