Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

alex is cool

what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

John Cena

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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