What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops