What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Penis

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Q.whats the difference between a women's argument and a knife A. a knife has a point

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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were at work systems r down

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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