"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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whats worse than the holocost, nothing

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Why was the Mexican running through the desert? A group of bandits had kidnapped his family, raped his sister, drowned his mother, decapitated his father, and now they were coming for him. They are coming...

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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test test

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops