Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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