What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Q: What were little Jonathon's grandmas last words before dying of Alzheimer's? A: Who are you?

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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