what you get time to go with? - a clock

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

thumb_up thumb_down -26

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops