Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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what did obama say when he lost his dog ? where the hell is my presidential dog !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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