How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

bangers and mash?

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

So a baby seal walks into a club.

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

What's long and black The unemployment line

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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