Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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