Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

What stops a train? A missile

what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

What do you call a cow lying on a barn floor? A cow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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