What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

give me a thumbs up

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

A man was walking down the street He was then killed in a drive by.

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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