Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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In the movie "Sherlock Holmes". Why is Sherlock Holmes gay???? Because he was chasing "Blackwood".

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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Sixty... eight

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Whats worse then a rainy day? Rape.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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A Man thought it was a good day and to go on anti-joke.com then he saw a post that had a link. This man was you and the link was http://minedgamez.tk/beta/ The man then clicked the link and fucking laughed so hard xD. She died in a car crash. Then a pickle appeared. It was then eaten by you not realizing it was actually a hamster.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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If you give a hobo a stick he might poke u with it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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