What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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