Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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my mind's eye?

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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What do you call a man who only eats fast food? Unhealthy.

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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