What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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