A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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