Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What's two plus two? Window

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have alziemers banana cookie!

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops