What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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What do you call kids born in whorehouses? Poor, poor children.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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You sick fiend

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops