a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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