A man walks into a bar. It turns out he's an alcoholic, and he goes home and beats his wife.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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Stop screaming! The damn uppercase letters make my head hurt! Let a lady have it for once!

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matt is fat

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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how does bob marley like his doughnuts? Sugared

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Why didn't he finish his

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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