“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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Boob

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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So 3 Jews walk into a bar, I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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