A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a doctors office and waits for his turn. After his name was called he walked up to the doctor and told him that he kept having hallucinations. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic to help with the mans addiction to LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do an Eagle and a sugar cube have in common? The fact that if let to disintegrate they both turn slowly to hydrogen after a period of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why is this website called anti joke.com? Because it has anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the black boy get for Christmas? Black people don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why the did black man climb the ladder? To get on the roof of the building to install a satellite dish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops