What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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