Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Bob Saget

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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The game.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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