Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Q

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What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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What did the plane say to the ground when they hit each other Boom

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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every knight i see an owl at window

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops