Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -16

CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Title IX

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy: Will you go out with me? Girl: No. Boy: Why? Girl: Because I don't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

this website even though its hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops