Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

Once upon of time there was 2 boys named Bucky and Thorn. They were best of friends and always came up with amusing adventures. So one day, during summer time before high school senior year, Bucky and Thorn went to go hiking on the mountain called Mt. Saint Lasik. It was the tallest mountain of the city. The city was called "The City of Dreams" because everyone had a dream that one day they will accomplish their goals. Well Bucky had a goal and his goal was to be the youngest to ever climb the mountain. However, Thorn was jealous because he as 11 toes. Since he can't hike they decided to go camping at Walala National Park. One day they saw a big huge bear named Pervus. Pervus told them that they were not allowed to be there. Thorn told Pervus to shut the hell up because he can't hike mountains. A girl came suddenly showed up. It was a girl named Sally. She was half black, white, Spanish, ad French, and she could sweet talk bears. Pervus said "Now it's time to boogey woogey woogey" and began dancing like a maniac. Police arrived. Officer Caleb Johnson was in the scene to investigate. "Where were you at the night of April 24th?" To which Bucky replied "To what do I owe pleasure of speaking?" Harry, his front door neighbor stole the cop car and drove off to New Guinea. God knows how or why Harry showed up. Coincidentally, Sally decided it was time to leave. Everyone left utterly confused. The End.

There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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