What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops