Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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David Cameron

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Does an Anti-Joke need to have an ironic punch line? ...

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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What's the new green? Green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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